I see this all the time.

[athelind]

I should hope not.

Comments

[stalbon.livejournal.com]

It's certainly not unusual. I suspect that I'm not disturbed by the fact that some people are nothing like what you'd expect when you meet them, but once it got to me. A friend I know was coming down to live in St. Louis, and I helped supply some of the bus fare (30 dollars, actually). When he gets down here, I...well, I was quite shocked, and a bit put off. He looked like he was 40 or more pounds overweight and he said he had buzzed his hair himself, which showed. Then, when I tried to do stuff with him a couple of days later with another friend, I found out he did...oh, nothing. I mean, he's a great guy online and all, but then I see him and he...well, the fact that some people let themselves get that overweight disturbs me, and then the fact that he says he doesn't have anything he knows or cares to do is worse still. The guy who let him stay with him pretty much made him leave a couple of weeks later, and I've barely talked to him after that. It's sad really...but it happens. I certainly know that I come off as different from my online self in a few ways.

Sad...

[-starblade-.livejournal.com]

Yes it is kinda sad how people let themselves go overweight. But there may very well be an actual reason, IE, the person is depressed. If they have nothing to do, they may very well have nothing to do, not because they chose to, but perhaps because it takes a lot of energy to find something engaging to do if you don't normally do it, and if you're genuinely depressed then, what can one do?

Depression isn't to be taken lightly. People aren't just depressed because they're "the sullen, whiny type who can't take the time to help themselves". It's an acutal medical problem sometimes, and it can cause a person to be overweight. And, even as you say, it's 40 pounds... that's not much to worry about! Why are you being so picky? Why are you being so hard on the guy? If anything, if you're really worried, you wouldn't give up on him. You'd just nudge him a bit harder. All it takes is a little persistance.

Really, I wish people would take more steps to fix something rather than just complain about it. In fact, I wish I did that more myself. I think you need to stop giving up so easily. If you really thought there was a problem with this guy, and if you really CARED, you could've done more for him, and been more persistant, rather than just letting him go to waste.

There's too many critics and not enough enthusiasts. There are more people complaining about things than there are people doing something about them. It's a pretty sad state of affairs, but what can I do, other than to at least try to set a good example?

Re: Sad...

[stalbon.livejournal.com]

Maybe I was wrong on my assumed calculations about his weight, maybe he was a lot more overweight than just forty pounds. But you can look to my post below Ssthisto's for more.

[ssthisto.livejournal.com]

Overweight does NOT equal bad.

I am, according to the AMA and insurance tables, approximately... 70 pounds overweight. Ten months ago, I was about 100 pounds overweight. I never LOOKED quite so overweight, though I was certainly tubby. Now, I'm looking a bit sleeker, though I am trying to lose a bit more for the sake of my health and having discovered that sugar and wheat do me no good. I will never be what one calls 'slim'. My goal weight is still about 20-30 pounds above the AMA recommendation.

I have a problem with the 'anti-fat' attitude. There is nothing less healthy, especially for a 'fat' person, than to be constantly told that they are less of a person, less valuable as a person, just because they weigh more than some insurance company says they should for 'optimum' health. They're not eating their way into the grave... most of them are being pushed there through stress or depression or a simple lack of the 'switch' that makes people feel like they've eaten 'enough'. Note I don't say 'lack of self-control' ... because for most people that is NOT the issue. It's the lack of a physical or chemical switch to deal with the 'control' of one's food intake.

That was me. My body did not KNOW when I'd eaten enough or more than enough, I could eat until my gut didn't fit in my jeans and still feel 'hungry' - and if I eat high-carb foods, I STILL don't know when I've eaten enough. Low-carb, high fat, moderate protein foods, I can handle - I can happily eat a few macadamia nuts or a slice of melba toast with butter or even three cups of salad with tuna and a vinaigrette dressing and feel contented... but give me some mashed potatoes and a bread roll with that and all that feeling contented goes away. An hour later, I'm hungry again. For me, the only 'diet' that really works is the one that makes me feel 'full', which puts a leash on the ravening beastie in my stomach and lets me tell it 'later, we'll eat later' ... instead of it making me feel so hungry I threw up... and it's not the AMA recommended low-fat high-carb diet either.

Re:

[stalbon.livejournal.com]

*Nods* I note that, and completely understand. Up until last year, I was probably 20-30 pounds overweight, and while it didn't greatly show, I noted that when I saw my weight, I decided to lose some. Luckily (or however you'd like to term it) I was able to lose 30 pounds simply by cutting down on what I ate, mostly going from three meals a day to 2-2.5.

I don't know you very well, even though I'd like to, but my point still stands that such people as the friend who came down make me uncomfortable. The furs I had previously met were not all in great shape, and I certainly am not either, but then this young man comes and he looks...well, it looked like he didn't take care of himself. Strangely enough, my own mother complains to me that people will get the same impression of myself if I don't always try and straighten up before I go out.

But then, I don't look like him at all. I am a contradictory person in many ways, and this may just be one of the many. I also did mention though, that the guy who took him in as a roommate kicked him out after a week or two because he wasn't taking care of himself and wasn't doing anything, no? Not to mention the fact that I later learn that he really doesn't do anything except spend time on the computer. I'm not judging, and I *shouldn't* be judging, but I'm a person who gets feelings about certain people right away, and when I saw my friend, no matter what I had thought of him previously, I felt uncomfortable with him.

It's a sad, sad world that is far from perfect, and I'm not perfect, you aren't, and nor is he. Myself, I try and look past imperfections, and am well aware of my own, but sometimes it's very hard to do

[stalbon.livejournal.com]

((Continued...))

so.

You have my apologies, nonetheless, if what I said angered or hurt you.

Ack!

[-starblade-.livejournal.com]

Darnit, Athelind! Now you've got me hooked on it! ;>