(no subject)

[athelind]

We live on a corner in a residential neighborhood that is, for some reason, fairly busy, even though it's not really a major throughfare. It probably has to do with the high school being right across the street. The fire station is also at the far end of the block, so we do tend to get sirens with surprising regularity. Those don't bother us much, really.

We also get a lot of cars with either Extremely Powerful Bass Stereos, Exhaust Systems Tuned To Sound "Powerful", or both. They usually cruise by in the evenings, while we're sitting with the windows open, enjoying the night air and trying to watch something on TV.

I really want to put up a sign for these guys:

Your Thumpa-Thump Car
Can Only Make Us Pity
Your Tiny Penis.

Edit: It originally ran "Your Thumpa Thumpa Car/Only Makes Us Pity/Your Tiny Penis", until hitchkitty pointed out that it was almost a haiku.

But quelonzia's daughter won't let me.

Comments

[hitchkitty.livejournal.com]

Or, for the anal-retentives in the audience:

Your thumpa-thump car
Only makes us feel pity
For your wee penis

[athelind.livejournal.com]

Oh my golly gosh.
An inadvertant haiku.
I had no idea!

[hitchkitty.livejournal.com]

Haiku format:

Narrow at the top
Much wider in the middle
Narrow at bottom

[athelind.livejournal.com]

Sounds like phallavixen.

[jirris-midvale.livejournal.com]

No. She's at least a paragraph.

[phallavixen.livejournal.com]

I asked the young man what exactly he was.
"I'm a page, good sir," he replied.
"Sonny," I answered, "you're not even a paragraph."
-- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

[athelind.livejournal.com]

And I can so hear that delivered in Bing Crosby's voice.

[araquan.livejournal.com]

I'd do that, but I'd add a note that hearing aids can be acquired within. Those folks will be in need of one soon enough- might as well make a buck off their stupidity and self-mutilation.

[silussa.livejournal.com]

The cars are probably the result of the high school; I've noticed the students tend to be the ones with "rattle the windows" bass systems.

Might I suggest as an alternative:

Loud bass music is harmful to your sexual health

That might at least turn the volumn down a bit.

[hafoc.livejournal.com]

this is an haiku
a strange japanese verse form
great big hairy deal

[shavastak.livejournal.com]

I'll send you copies of the pamphlets I draw up, the ones that offer penis enlargement and Viagra clones to the people who drive gigantic SUVs. :)

[athelind.livejournal.com]

Note that a first line
That says "Your Big S.U.V."
Scans properly, too.

[hafoc.livejournal.com]

That seems to be true.
But it lacks any mention
of snowmobile scum.

And just what are those
Who buy wheel spinner gizmos
Compensating for?

Brain-eating zombies
In a world full of these folk
Would quite quickly starve.

See the S.U.Vs
Towing snowmobiles up here
Speed, hit ice, and flip!

Hit ice at eighty
And then the trailer fishtails--
S.U.Vs can fly!

But big S.U.Vs
Bringing jet skis can't hit ice
Unfortunately.

It's tourist season,
So how come we can't shoot them?
The world's just not fair.

(True, most folks are cool
But stick those goddamned jet skis
Where the sun don't shine.)

The problem with these
Is that you need a note pad
About an inch wide.

I'm an idiot
With this brain-dead haikury!
Guess I'll go to bed.

[susandeer.livejournal.com]

Baahhahaah! And I like the one about it being harmful to sexual health, too. They don't need to know that it's because you'll rip their balls off out of angery! *sweet smile!*

Mmm,

[animakitty.livejournal.com]

I'd prefer something like sonically-triggered mines... Anything above garbage-truck-decibel level gets fragged.

[darkkdragon.livejournal.com]

HAIKU! Yay!!
:)

[palanth.livejournal.com]

Another solution that would take care of both the deafeningly-inconsiderate-exhaust motorcyclists/drivers and the boom-boom stereo sort. High-output capacitors, wired out under the street to a small flip-up trailing fusible link. Vehicle approaches, rattling the windows and the sanity. You press a button, the fusible link wire in the street flips up--pretty much invisible to any driver not paying close attention. When the vehicle rolls over it, its metal frame contacts the wire, completes a circuit back through the vehicle's electrical systems to the battery and such, and *ZAP*. All goes quiet. }:=8> The fusible link is destroyed in the process, removing evidence.

Yes, I have sat thinking about this MANY a night for the past four plus years...*grumbles*