The Candle-Lit Bathtub of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

[athelind]

Okay.

In recent years, I've seen several movies where a woman (and it's always a woman) slips into a nice, hot bubble bath, with candles all around her in an otherwise-unlit bathroom.

I guess the idea is that it's supposed to be Relaxing, with a capital R, a New Age Aromatherapy Not-Quite-Sensory-Deprivation sort of Relaxation Ritual.

How it possibly could be relaxing, I have no idea. Dozing off near open flames or being in the dark in the major center for household accidents strike me as unwise at best. Beyond that, mirrors in the dark creep me out, and flickering candle-light is inherently eerie. Combining the two? Brrrr.

And you know what? All my misgivings and hackle-raisings are, in this instance, right -- because any time you see this happen in a movie, something terrible happens. The serial killer breaks down the door. The ghosts manifest. The earthquake strikes.

These are the only times you ever see this "relaxation" scene. EVER. Whatever the movie's about, the Candle-Lit Bathtub is inevitably, inexorably followed by the Overflowing Bathtub Of Red Water, usually with One Limp, Tragic Hand raised above the stained edge of the tub.

There are no counterexamples.

With all that in the Collective Unconscious, why do women in movies keep doing it? Don't you understand? It's certain DOOM!!!

Comments

[hedgegoth.livejournal.com]

your blink tag fu has broken my brain

[araquan.livejournal.com]

It could be worse...

[araquan.livejournal.com]

I dunno. I find candles somewhat theraputic, but I'm also a dracophillic pyromaniac, so that is perhaps to be expected. Not a big fan of baths though. Let's face it- I don't fit into the tub in any form of relaxing posture, and haven't since junior high.

[stalbon.livejournal.com]

Wait a second, haven't you ever seen that X-Files episode where Scully AND Mulder AND Skinner are all lounging in just such a scene having a three-way conversation over the phone? Nothing happens there, it's just really funny. ;P

[athelind.livejournal.com]

Okay, so there's ONE counter-example. And it's a pretty good one.

[edhyena.livejournal.com]

I can think of counter examples, but I think we're only counting movies that are suitable for television airing before midnight, right?

[collie13.livejournal.com]

A good friend of mine has a motto about movies in general:

"Before you can have a movie, someone's gotta do something stoooooopid!" ;)

[waywind.livejournal.com]

This is only half an exception, from "Addam's Family Values." Fester (male) gets into a candlelit bathtub. Then, indeed, someone tries to kill him! But he survives, because he's Fester Addams.

[drakegrey.livejournal.com]

Actually, that's my question in re: to Christian End Time fiction.

So, all this weird ass stuff is going down, and this leering, wicked weirdo ascends to world power in a heartbeat and usually, at some point he's shot dead and *rises back to life*.

... and an entire generation of people raised on '70's occult books, devil posession movies and 'The Omen' *doesn't make the connection*. :P

--Drake

[athelind.livejournal.com]

They didn't seem to catch on when Ronald (6) Wilson (6) Reagan (6) did it.

[iridium-wolf.livejournal.com]

But a new translation of some of the oldest surviving versions of the New Testament has the number of The Beast changing from 666 (which is my work extension by the way. :P ) to something like 626 or 616, I'm not sure which.

[saribou.livejournal.com]

Calgon, take me away!

Flammable bubblebath. Now *there's* some excitement!

[r-caton.livejournal.com]

There was a case I believe in RL where the bath was left, the candles burnt down and the acrylic bathtub ignited! (whee!)

[thistledown.livejournal.com]

You want Certain Doom ??...you've seen all the aircraft disaster movies ? Take head..Never, NEVER get on a plane that has any pregnat woman on board ! Thats a sure sign the flight is Doooomed ! :)