Film at 11: No Velociraptors

[athelind]

Restaurant Says "NO" to Screaming Children

Excerpt the First:

A restaurant in Carolina Beach is stirring up controversy over a couple of signs reading, "Screaming children will not be tolerated."

Excerpt the Second:

"I've never seen a restaurant say, don't bring your screaming kids in here," said Ashley Heflin, who is a mom of two. "You can't help it if your kids scream."

YES. YES, YOU CAN.

You can either pay attention to them -- and that includes "discipline", if need be -- or you can stay the BLEEP home and take care of them.

You can even find a baby sitter, if you just need some out-of-the-house time and a break from parenting.

When I first reacted to this story, hoodahdc said, "Athe is angry about babies."

No, Athe is angry about parents.

Nine times out of ten, when I see some kid screaming its head off in a restaurant or a mall or in my BLEEPing store, the parents are blithely ignoring it and doing their damnedest to hold a conversation over their progeny's howls.

I would, for the record, consider the stereotypical parental brush-off of "not now, dear, Mommy's talking" that is media shorthand for "parental neglect" vastly superior to the parents I see who flat-out ignore their offspring.

So yes. YES. Hooray for Brenda Armes, and I hope beyond hope that she's the harbinger of a trend.

Comments

[reveille-d.livejournal.com]

I'm not a parent of human children, so I don't know, but doesn't giving them the attention they're screaming for encourage them to scream anytime they want attention? Or are you saying that if they paid attention in the first place, they wouldn't scream?

[athelind.livejournal.com]

"You need to be quiet now" counts as "attention".

So does, "we are going home right now if you keep that up."

And, while it may have fallen out of favor, so does **SMACK!!**

Any of these options count as better parenting than simply ignoring your caterwauling crotch dropping and the effect they have on the people around you.

I'd like to apply that last one to whatever genius came up with "just let them scream and scream and scream and scream, because paying attention just gives them what they want."

It doesn't work.

Clarifying abit:

Human children are hardwired to want attention -- acknowledgement -- from the adults in their lives. Providing that attention and acknowledgement is the appropriate role of the parent, and part of that attention is, in fact, notifying your children when their behavior has stepped outside the bounds of what is appropriate. If you do not acknowledge them when they scream, you are a) condoning public screaming as appropriate behavior and b) encouraging them to scream even more loudly in an attempt to wring some affection out of Wire Mother.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

I'd like to apply that last one to whatever genius came up with "just let them scream and scream and scream and scream, because paying attention just gives them what they want."

It doesn't work.

It DOES work, but not in isolation. It has to be accompanied by, "We'll do fun things again when you stop behaving like that," or "I'm not going to give you what you want when you're being bad to get it." The kids have to know that when they're not tantrumming, they're going to get positive attention from their parents.

And that is not a good strategy for out in public.

My general modus operandi when my kids were little enough for this to be common (more common with Claire than with Elizabeth, due to personality) was to give one warning: "If yo keep that up, [treat I promised them at the end of the period where they need to be good] will not be happening and we will be going to sit [someplace where nobody can hear us, usually the car depending on weather] until everyone else is done their meal. Then [other parent] will sit with you while I finish MY meal." If they stopped crying in the middle, I'd ask them if they were ready to try the restaurant again. It only happened a couple of times.

It's harder in grocery stores, for example - parents often don't have the option of simply walking out and leaving their cart, because they need to buy food and there's nobody to watch their kid while they do. I have a lot of sympathy for parents of crying children in situations like that - they're between a rock and a hard place in terms of discipline options.

When a child misbehaves, smack the parents.

[athelind.livejournal.com]

Y'know, in grocery stores, I tend to tune it out, or have some sympathy for the parents.

I do not sell the necessities of life. I sell comic books, toys, and overpriced collectibles, largely based on cartoon characters.

There is nothing that fills me with deeper contempt for my own hobbies than watching a parent completely ignore his or her squalling children so that they can buy toys for themselves.

And let me be clear: I mean completely. Child not just squalling randomly, but actively trying to share in their parent's interests: "Ooh! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this!"

And the parent doesn't even treat them with respect enough to say, "hold on" or "not now" or "I'm trying to talk to the gentleman behind the counter". They don't even respect their child enough to say "shut up". They just keep talking to Your Obedient Register Monkey, occasionally shoving their child out of the way when the poor kid sticks something in their face just to get some glimmer of attention from their uncaring gene donor.