I'd like to apply that last one to whatever genius came up with "just let them scream and scream and scream and scream, because paying attention just gives them what they want."
It doesn't work.
It DOES work, but not in isolation. It has to be accompanied by, "We'll do fun things again when you stop behaving like that," or "I'm not going to give you what you want when you're being bad to get it." The kids have to know that when they're not tantrumming, they're going to get positive attention from their parents.
And that is not a good strategy for out in public.
My general modus operandi when my kids were little enough for this to be common (more common with Claire than with Elizabeth, due to personality) was to give one warning: "If yo keep that up, [treat I promised them at the end of the period where they need to be good] will not be happening and we will be going to sit [someplace where nobody can hear us, usually the car depending on weather] until everyone else is done their meal. Then [other parent] will sit with you while I finish MY meal." If they stopped crying in the middle, I'd ask them if they were ready to try the restaurant again. It only happened a couple of times.
It's harder in grocery stores, for example - parents often don't have the option of simply walking out and leaving their cart, because they need to buy food and there's nobody to watch their kid while they do. I have a lot of sympathy for parents of crying children in situations like that - they're between a rock and a hard place in terms of discipline options.
no subject
It doesn't work.
It DOES work, but not in isolation. It has to be accompanied by, "We'll do fun things again when you stop behaving like that," or "I'm not going to give you what you want when you're being bad to get it." The kids have to know that when they're not tantrumming, they're going to get positive attention from their parents.
And that is not a good strategy for out in public.
My general modus operandi when my kids were little enough for this to be common (more common with Claire than with Elizabeth, due to personality) was to give one warning: "If yo keep that up, [treat I promised them at the end of the period where they need to be good] will not be happening and we will be going to sit [someplace where nobody can hear us, usually the car depending on weather] until everyone else is done their meal. Then [other parent] will sit with you while I finish MY meal." If they stopped crying in the middle, I'd ask them if they were ready to try the restaurant again. It only happened a couple of times.
It's harder in grocery stores, for example - parents often don't have the option of simply walking out and leaving their cart, because they need to buy food and there's nobody to watch their kid while they do. I have a lot of sympathy for parents of crying children in situations like that - they're between a rock and a hard place in terms of discipline options.