athelind: (Default)
Today, I filled out my census data as the second person living at [livejournal.com profile] thoughtsdriftby's residence, and something occurred to me.

Neither [livejournal.com profile] quelonzia nor I remember filling out a census form in 2000 -- and in 2000, we were living in CSUMB's student housing. Despite the fact that we lived there for five full years (and the longest I've ever lived in any single place is six years), we were considered transient. In many places, students living on campus aren't considered "local residents", and thus aren't permitted to vote in local elections (though they can vote in national elections); since districting is based on census data, it makes sense that they might leave students out of that, as well.

In 1990, I was in the Coast Guard, and lived on a military base.

In 1980, my family lived in an RV park in a largely-agricultural part of Southern California; the immigration status of most of the other long-term park residents was, shall we say, dubious. My mother can't remember if we filled out a census form that year.

This may be the first census that's actually counted me since I was six years old.

The next time someone bitches about the effort the government has been going through to try and get the homeless and other "traditionally under-represented" segments of the population tallied accurately, I'll have to point out how easily a middle class white kid slipped through the cracks for forty years.


(This may be the most appropriate use of my barcode icon ever.)


athelind: (Default)
It's a little late at this stage, but just to clarify matters:

Despite previous reports to the contrary, both [livejournal.com profile] quelonzia and I will be attending Further Confusion this year.

Quel will be there on Saturday; I will be there on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, with possible cameos on Thursday night and Monday morning.

Caution: Due to circumstances that should be familiar to anyone who reads this journal regularly, my moods will be erratic. I may be cheerful and energetic; I may be quiet and wistful, I may be irritable and flat-out bitey. I may be all of these things in rapid succession.

I intend to be cliquish. There are a lot of good friends that I only ever see at FC, and my main reason for going this year is to see them.

Warning:
When approaching the dragon, do not initiate hugs. If the dragon is huggable, he will initiate.

Do not skritch the dragon.


Oh, and this does seem to be allergies, after all. I am not Patient Zero!
athelind: (Default)
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Same thing.

Because I miss her.


athelind: (Default)
I know everyone is concerned about Your Obedient Serpent these days, but, honestly? I'm doing REALLY well right now.

That's not despite recent events. It's because of them. Maybe it's the Dr Pepper talking, but -- frankly, our separation was just the kick in the ass I needed.

I feel very good about the coming year, and about myself -- better than I have in a very long time. I have new directions to explore, and new possibilities to consider.

Whatever happens over the next few months, I will be stronger for it -- and when [livejournal.com profile] quelonzia and I get back together, our marriage will be stronger, too.

Expect a resolution post on Sunday. The next two days are work days.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Blessed Be!


athelind: (Default)
I'm here in Berkeley, at my sister's place. My folks are here. This is the first time we've all been together for the holidays since -- 1982, at least, when my grandmother died right after I went off to college. My middle sister isn't here, but, still, with two of the three of us, it's a quorum.

Stopped off at [livejournal.com profile] quelonzia's place before work tonight, just to say hello to everyone who's crashing THERE for the holiday.

This is our first Christmas apart since we were married.

I miss you, beloved. Merry Christmas.

And to all our friends: don't worry about us. We'll work through this. Have a happy holiday, and blessed be.


athelind: (Default)
Here it is, the Winter Solstice again. Since [livejournal.com profile] quelonzia and I were married on the Summer Solstice of 1997, I guess that makes this is our twelfth-and-a-half anniversary -- an eighth of a century.

Today, we had our first real date together since I moved out: lunch, followed by James Cameron's magnificent Avatar, which we both loved. I'm glad we saw it together, and I'm glad that was the movie we got together to see.

Happy Anniversary, baby. I've got you on my mind.


athelind: (Default)
The other morning, I posted that I didn't feel quite real, nor was I anywhere near happy.

Yesterday, my psychologist said a few things that brought a lot of things into focus.

I think I've finally come to terms with the separation itself, and worked past some of the emotional knots I've been tying myself into. From this point, I really can start concentrating on finding a decent, full-time job.

I walked out of his office feeling happy for the first time in months, feeling hope that wasn't tinged with desperation.

And this morning, when I woke up...

I felt real.







And the world shines for me today! )

(Cheesy Disco Music Video HERE!)

athelind: (Default)
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Hearing her voice. Seeing her smile. Holding her in my arms.


athelind: (Eye - VK)
In all the sorrow and confusion of my current situation, there are also small annoyances that arise. One such nuisance: I find myself now bereft of a DVR.

I suspect that much of our recent* increase in television viewing was due not just to a plethora of interesting programs, but to the ease and convenience that the DVR provided: for the first time, recording shows and watching them at a later time had become simpler than just turning on the TV and watching a show "live".

As previous posts have mentioned, my regular TV viewing has been whittled down to a handful of shows. However, an annoying number of them air on nights that I work, and the rest are cable shows with unpredictable timeslots.

Several of them have ongoing narratives that I would regret losing track of:

  • Heroes
  • Supernatural
  • Leverage
  • Burn Notice


Anybody out there recording any of those who might want to do a weekly-ish TV Couch Potato Party?

I've realized that much of our recent* increase in television viewing was due not just to a plethora of interesting programs, but to the ease and convenience that the DVR provided: for the first time, recording shows and watching them at a later time had become simpler than just turning on the TV and watching a show "live".


*"Recent" as in "over the last decade", not "over the last season or two", which has seen us dropping shows fairly rapidly, as my journal entries have discussed. It's now come into question just how much of that has really been due to increasing impatience with network offerings vs. increasing impatience with other matters in our lives.

(I also watch Castle and the Mentalist, but those are lighter shows less reliant on narrative, and I doubt anyone else out there's recording them.)

athelind: (Eye of the Dragon)
I'm as settled in at [livejournal.com profile] thoughtsdriftby's place as I'm going to get, I think. The closet is repaired, most of my clothes are put away, I've got mail set up on the laptop and my Job Hunting File Folder in Dropbox.

I haven't quite had the burst of Job Hunting Energy that I realize I was magically expecting, nor have I gained the Key Insight Into What I've Been Doing Wrong All This Time, but I'm Working On It. I'm going to try to pick up an AutoCAD class at the local community college, which should make my skill set more attractive to a wider range of employers. They also have a program for a Land Surveyor's certificate that I should look into; there's a good chance of a lot of overlap between that and my ESSP coursework, so I might be able to get certified with just a couple of classes.

Emotionally, everyone seems to think I'm doing remarkably well; I'm not happy by any stretch of the imagination, but I've moved past miserable, for the most part. This hasn't broken me.

It still doesn't feel quite real sometimes, though.


athelind: (Default)
I am officially moved out, and mostly moved in, for now. My extensive wardrobe managed to pull down the hanger rods in [livejournal.com profile] thoughtsdriftby's guest closet, so tomorrow, we get to do Home Improvement kinda stuff.

I need a good Ubuntu-compatible wireless card for the desktop; at this point, I think it's gonna be easier to go through the list on the Ubuntu site and order one online than it will be to try to remember or print enough of the list to see if I can pick one off the shelf at Fry's.

For the time being, though, the laptop's my primary computer. I need to get my email accounts set up on this thing, ASAP.

I did NOT get moved out before [livejournal.com profile] quelonzia's return from the airport; traffic and rain and procrastination all played their parts. I'm glad I got to welcome her home, though.

(And, sugarplum, I'm sorry I left such a mess in my wake!)

Tonight and tomorrow, a bit more settling in, home projects, and setting up email on this thing. Monday, the job hunt begins in earnest -- the last thing in my mail before I unhooked everything were a couple of very promising job leads from my sister's S.O.!


athelind: (Default)
I've saved the computer for the last load -- though I may have to do a catch-up load if there are more bits and bytes that won't fit in the station wagon.

I don't know how long it'll take me to get set up and hooked up to the net at [livejournal.com profile] thoughtsdriftby's place; the laptop has wireless, thank goodness, so that won't be as tricky.

Fire of my Heart ... what can I say? Call me when you get in.

I love you, Terry.


Dream Log

Dec. 11th, 2009 08:04 am
athelind: (Default)
Not quite a dream, I suppose. I'd awakened at around 4:30, and thought, "oh, she's at the airport now, waiting for her plane home, and then went back to sleep.

A few hours later, I was on the fringes of sleep, working my way to the waking world. I heard a noise, a familiar noise, and, just for a few seconds, it was like every other morning, and [livejournal.com profile] quelonzia was sitting down to her computer to check her mail.

It was just the rain, and the wind.

It wasn't like every other morning. This is my last morning here, in this house. This is my last morning here, in our bed.

And she's still in the air, still winging her way back from the Philippines.

But not back to me.

I'll be gone before she gets here.

That's what she asked.



A familiar noise
"Oh, she's at her computer."
But it's just the rain.


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